Homemade Phillies Blunt Costume

"I'm a blunt gettin' smoked and I can't wake up, I'm a blunt gettin' smoked and I can't wake up, I'm dreamiiiinnn' about being a blunt!" -- KRS-One

not fond of my 2010 hair, hence the crop

Did you ever want to be a blunt? Well I did. About 10 years ago I traveled to the Pacific NW to catch a few Disco Biscuits shows in Eugene, Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver for a Halloween run. At the last minute I had the idea to throw together a simple blunt costume. I figured, you know, some fabric, a few safety pins, maybe some green felt ... simple, right? Well I made one of the worst costumes ever. I give myself credit for the idea, but the execution fell terribly flat. I bought a piece of brown fabric and concocted a way to wrap it around my waist, then up over my head from behind, and down in front of my face (with a hole cut out) and then secured with the safety pins. I think I looked like poop. Literally. 

Fast forward to 2010. I had just started dating a girl I wanted to impress. I mean, just being myself is quite impressive, but this particular young lady really loved Halloween -- zombies, costumes, scary movies, etc. So I had always had this blunt costume idea in the back of mind. Someday, I thought, I can be the blunt I always wanted to be... Well that day was upon me, Halloween 2010. I did a quick search and found amazing instructions for how to make a blunt costume. This dude, in 2007, had come up with this idea (or borrowed it from somewhere else), written out instructions, took great pictures, suggested where to buy the materials, and posted it on instructables. Unfortunately, I can no longer find his instructable for the costume. I might guess they removed it for having marijuana content, but I would doubt that, with the prevailing cultural winds these days billowing with ganja smoke, but hey, who knows...

Anyway, ever since I started this blog a couple years ago I wanted to get my Phillies Blunt Costume pictures up, and now that I can no longer find the actual instructable that I used, the internet is sorely lacking in Halloween blunt costume instructions! I do like to contribute to society, so here you go...

Materials

• 1 small brown comforter (e.g., for a twin bed) to make the body of the blunt
• brown thread
• needle(s) (to sew seam and arm holes of the blunt body
• scissors
• tape measure
• large Phillies Blunt logo print out (or White Owl if you're old school)
• poster board or something to mount the logo
• clear tape
• marijuana leaf (or other green leafed) lei

Instructions

You'll only need to cut one side of the comforter if the length is already appropriate for your height. So, assuming one side is about 5 to 6 feet long, you will use that for the height of the costume and cut the other side. Cut the width about 6 inches wider than your waist size. If you wear a 32 inch waist, cut the width to about 38 inches. (Or, if you imagine wanting to wear the costume in ten years and you think you will get fatter, go ahead and leave a few more inches on there.) So you'll now have a brown comforter measuring about 5 or 6 feet by 3 feet. 

Use safety pins, needle, and thread to sew up the side you cut. I sewed mine by hand and it didn't take too too long. Remember your 7th grade home economics class skills...

Then you need to make it into a tube shape by sewing the two longer edges together. Do the sewing "inside out" so the thread will end up on the inside and you have a nice smooth seam showing on the outside. Don't sew it together all the way down or you'll never get it one and off. Leave about 18 inches to duck tail on the bottom so you can walk somewhat comfortably.

This is upside down (since the fully sewn end is down).

This will be the top end sitting on your shoulders.

Cut two arms holes about 3 to 6 inches from the top. You can put it on at this point and figure out where you want your arm holes to go. Remember, though, however much you leave at the top will sit between your shoulders and chin. Don't leave too much that it will bunch up and get in your way. The top of my arms holes are about 5 or 6 inches down and I would recommend shortening that to 3 or 4 inches. 

Sew up the arm hole edges like you did along the length of the comforter to prevent fraying. There you have it! But right now you only have a cigar. At this point, play Redman's classic "How to Roll a Blunt" while you proceed to the next step.

Find a high quality Phillies logo image online (such as a desktop wallpaper) and print it out. Use clear packing tape to mount it to poster board in a belt shape. Cut two slits on the back (like a Burger King crown you could get in the restaurant in the 80's) so you can fasten the belt. (Sorry, no picture of the belt slits, but I think you can figure it out.)

Now, as it turned out back in 2010 the young lady in question did invite me to a Halloween party (albeit a redneck zombie Halloween party, but I'll save that for another day), and the costume was a hit. Subsequently that weekend I ran into a fine gentleman who had used a very similar technique in creating his costume -- a penis (including balls). I mention this only because he had used a brown comforter and the exact same technique to create the shaft for his costume as I had for my blunt. Twins! Everyone in Dee's that night wanted a picture with the Blunt and the Penis.

I wore brown t-shirt and green shoes :-)